Birth Order Explorer Pillows

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

In the club.

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

'There's no stigma in being brought up by apes - I was an adopted child too.'

Womb for Kids

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

“It's a healthy baby boy. And, wow, the mouth on your wife …”

"Well, it certainly looks like your DNA. How many times have I told you to wear gloves before touching anything?"

'They're not reliable.'

'Instead of a baby sister, Dear, Daddy and I will give you your choice between kitten or puppy.'

"Do you think he's taking this security blanket thing a bit too seriously?"

Baby boom expected due to corona

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the colostrum?"

"Which one's mine?!"

The surrendered mom

Kangaroo Pushing Buggy.

"The sitter's here, honey!"

"That's right, fifty pounds and the pick of the litter."

'Well, he's the only boyfriend I didn't dump immediately. . . Stay on your toes, mister. The jury's still out.'

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

"The Real Housewives of Real Households"

"Thanks for the birthday gift, but what will I do with a gift card to a toy store?"

'Maybe I should explain...'

'I just retired from politics to spend more time with my children -- are you my children?'

'Perhaps we should talk about having kids'

"I'm getting a little tired of social media. He got mad at me so he said he is going to 'undad' me."

Big book of daft names for kids.