Birth Order Observer Pillows

'Well, I'm sure not going to be the first one out!'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

"What should we do with this extra part?"

"I need a more interactive you."

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

'I'm his best friend, until his wife walks in.'

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

People in street, "Ooh doesn't he take after his dad"

'How can you be so cheap?'

'Miron, stop teasing your brother this instant or I swear I will eat you! Don't think I won't! Remember what happened to your older brother Milton?!"

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

"Remember kids: the best way to annoy a human is to fly around its nose, ears, mouth or eyes..."

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

Good morning, Teddy! Ungh

Parrot Demands

TV on demand

'Your sister's wearing well for her age. I hope I look that good when I'm ten.'

"In local news, 'Hapless Husband Trapped in Loveless Marriage.'"

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

'His condition appears to imitate the stock market...good, good days...bad, bad days.'

Great to see you! Give us a big hug!!' Doctors without Boundaries.

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

'George, there you are!'

John panics as he realizes being first to put money in the offering means people will know how much he gave.

'Maybe I should explain...'

'I do wish you would stop asking for change back when they pass the plate.'

"I noticed you've packed the gallery with your relatives."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Look, honey, they're erecting a statue of you in the park—oh, now they're taking it down."

It's hard being the middle child.

How’d my dang teeth get in there? Cuz you been drinkin’ out of the milk carton again.