Birdwatching Joker Gifts

"Surely it can't be normal for a penguin to suffer from chilblains!"

"Yeah, I don't understand why they use scarecrows like this either: they're not scary at all..."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

New York Scatological Society

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'You are pigeon toed.'

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

A couple of birds out on the town.

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

'Sure I can do same day service.'

"He's a bird-dog."

"So you hired them to do the tidying up?"

'Why can't I ever lead?'

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

"That bird looks just like your drone."

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

Artist Hazards

'I just flew in from Los Angeles, and boy are my arms wings...!'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"Psst. . .he's not even looking up here....keep real still and he'll never notice us!"

CEO and COO.

"It's a thongbird."

'Hey guys, wouldn't it be alot easier if we just wore layers?'

"The problem with being a roadrunner is coping with the darn potholes! I've twisted my ankle again..."

Darwin misses witnessing unnatural selection.

"Suddenly I can't think of anything to chirp."