Birdwatching Joker Prints

"Surely it can't be normal for a penguin to suffer from chilblains!"

"Yeah, I don't understand why they use scarecrows like this either: they're not scary at all..."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'You are pigeon toed.'

A couple of birds out on the town.

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

'Sure I can do same day service.'

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

"He's a bird-dog."

Artist Hazards

"So you hired them to do the tidying up?"

'Why can't I ever lead?'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

"That bird looks just like your drone."

'I just flew in from Los Angeles, and boy are my arms wings...!'

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

"Psst. . .he's not even looking up here....keep real still and he'll never notice us!"

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

CEO and COO.

"It's a thongbird."

'Hey guys, wouldn't it be alot easier if we just wore layers?'

Oh, well, I guess it's better than having no groupies at all.

Darwin misses witnessing unnatural selection.