Birdbath Cleaner Gifts

'I think you need to clean the birdbath.'

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

"What can you do with him?"

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

"I don't CARE if Tracy Emin's bed sold for £4440,000...I STILL want you to clean your room."

'It must cost a small fortune to dry clean that suit.'

Surreal scene depicting a dry cleaner shop interior, with pant zipper flies stuck to a fly strip.

A bath at Boulogne. - Appalling position of Mr and Mrs Tomkins, who had a jib horse when the tide was coming in.

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

How men shop for towels.

'A bit extravagant don't you think you think?'

'Could you make sure you empty your pockets next time?'

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!

No, really, if you hold a can up to your ear, you can hear the recycling plant.

Shakespeare failed at many jobs prior to becoming a playwright. He was a terrible loan officer and inept dry cleaner. Neither a borrower or a lender be. Out, damned spot I say! He was no good in customer service. The lady doth protest too much, methinks. And he mixed-up flowers as a florist. That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. He tried to hid these career failures on his resume. Personnel Office. You need to be more specific about your work history --- You

Dry Cleaning

'My work clothes are at the cleaner's, so I had to borrow my kid's hoodie.'

"Stop, you idiot! Can't you read?!"

Environmentally friendly Dry Cleaners

'Three words, Corporal: 'Advanced military technology',,, Relax,'

'Given up on the eco-friendly loo cleaner then.'

Laundry Dry Cleaner. More places are charging extra to iron shirts when they launder them. The free press is under siege!

'Sure I have experience as a presser. I used to drive a steamroller.'

Laundry. Press & Fold. Mother Superior said to use more fabric softener this time --- Old habits dry hard.

Frank's Laundry and Dry Cloning

"You hate ironing? Me too."

"Firm yet comfortable, with 420 individual spring posture coils to enhance support. Perfect for hiding under."