Birdbath Cleaner Gifts

'I think you need to clean the birdbath.'

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"What can you do with him?"

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'It must cost a small fortune to dry clean that suit.'

Surreal scene depicting a dry cleaner shop interior, with pant zipper flies stuck to a fly strip.

A bath at Boulogne. - Appalling position of Mr and Mrs Tomkins, who had a jib horse when the tide was coming in.

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

How men shop for towels.

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!

'A bit extravagant don't you think you think?'

'Could you make sure you empty your pockets next time?'

"Stop, you idiot! Can't you read?!"

'My work clothes are at the cleaner's, so I had to borrow my kid's hoodie.'

Dry Cleaning

'Three words, Corporal: 'Advanced military technology',,, Relax,'

Environmentally friendly Dry Cleaners

'Given up on the eco-friendly loo cleaner then.'

"You hate ironing? Me too."

Frank's Laundry and Dry Cloning

'Sure I have experience as a presser. I used to drive a steamroller.'

"Firm yet comfortable, with 420 individual spring posture coils to enhance support. Perfect for hiding under."