Birdbath Buff Gifts

'A bit extravagant don't you think you think?'

"A birdbath, eh? -- you some kinda voyeur?"

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"I'm going to get you fired."

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Flan-eating bacteria

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

"I can hear the sea boiling."

'No. It's not a past girlfriend. I'm a tort lawyer.'

Bacterial Cultural Center

"Uh-Oh!"

"Bacteria are fascinating. They multiply by dividing."

Transgender Bathroom Debate

'All right, guys, I got it, you forgot about me… didn't you?'

'Which end's the shallow end?'

Easter Island

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!

"My art dealer assured me people will think it's worth a lot mo is."re than it

"Stop, you idiot! Can't you read?!"

Lifeguard... Lifetime funds manager

'It's a variation of the South Beach diet -- we bury you in the sand till you lose fifty pounds.'

Mozart swimming.

"Don't give him air- he's anaerobic!"

"There's 20 billion of us crammed into our capsule world, who's for burrowing south to freedom?"

Who needs Facebook friends when you've got billions of friendly gut bacteria?

'Mind giving him his bath now- he'll be asleep when we get home!'

"Speedo limit 30 waist"

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

Birdbath & Beyond

"Young Master downright lied to Mistress! I can smell he didn't use soap or shampoo when he took his bath!"