Biology Joke Lovers Pillows

"Never bring a pet to school . . . especially if it's a frog!"

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

It's an experiment.

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

You've determined the DNA genome for felines? What do you call it? "Helix the Cat".

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

"Actually, I find his murky past rather attractive."

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

The One That Newton Missed

These days we worry about 'scientist playing God.' But in ancient Greece they worried about Gods playing scientist....

I hate it when the moon shows his dark side...

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.