Science Joke Enthusiast Pillows

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

The Food Chain

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

The life of penguins.

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

'Galileo, I said a right at the corner and then a left.'

It's an experiment.

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

'Yes Ma'am, we're from the Governement: We need samples for scientific testing...'

Chameleon humor...'I never metamorphosis I didn't like...'

'Fred, rumor has it you're closing in on some profound, elemental truth about the universe, and I wanted to remind you that our research funding specifically prohibits that!'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

'Look - it's SUPERBUG!'

The One That Newton Missed

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.