Science Joke Lover Pillows

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

'Urine samples from the employees of XYZ, Inc.'

"Oh our assistant, he was donated by a pharmaceutical company."

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

The Food Chain

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

The life of penguins.

'Galileo, I said a right at the corner and then a left.'

It's an experiment.

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

'Yes Ma'am, we're from the Governement: We need samples for scientific testing...'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'Fred, rumor has it you're closing in on some profound, elemental truth about the universe, and I wanted to remind you that our research funding specifically prohibits that!'

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

'Look - it's SUPERBUG!'

The One That Newton Missed

I hate it when the moon shows his dark side...