Billing Buster Gifts

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

The Not-So Smart Meter

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

"This is crazy! We've been here only 10 minutes, we've spent all our money, and we've got nothing to show for it!"

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

Oil shock.

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Please excuse the mess - we've been busy throwing good money after bad!'

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

"They're spelt differently!"

Put it in petty cash.

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

"Hang the expense, Potter. If you need another pencil, order it."

"According to this analysis, Gibbons, last year your department spent forty-five thousand dollars on candy alone."

"We're cutting costs now, so get rid of the petting zoo."

'This one's called 'unpaid electric bills'.'

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'