Billing Battler Gifts

'I also examined you for insurance but didn't find any.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Fries and kids

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

Arctic Weather vs Utility Bills

Student Debt

Fiscal Cliff Dwellers.

"For all the years I've worked here you've had it in for me...so will you get off my case."

Man is attacked by barcodes.

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

buck stops here-taxes...mine

Man about to pay his hospital bill notices a team of doctors and nurses waiting to resuscitate him.

'So how have the cuts affected you?'

"We lawyers are very conscientious about our charges and I remember that one specifically: I called to wish you a happy birthday and I got your answering machine so I just billed you a quarter of an hour."

'You've cut me off. So how can I find my cheque book in the dark?'

'I worry that Henderson's becoming too well entrenched.'

I'm not overweight , I just have a heavy management infrastructure.

"Good news! The White House has agreed to negotiate with us on that $400 mil in cuts!" "What do you have to give up next time... the other arm or a leg...?"

"To describe our budget shortfall as a 'Black Hole' is both simplistic and inaccurate."

Running away form the costs of electricity and pollution.

"If the board cuts our budget any more, I'm going to have to start stealing the kids' lunch money."

"It's that sense of dread again, about the state of my inbox."

Toy soldiers - War on drugs, War on binge drinking, Combat obesity, etc.

"We have way too much micro-managing around here."

"...And thanks to our new budget, class sizes are a low 40:1 ratio!"

Credit card repayments are for life, not just for Christmas.