Billing Buster Pillows

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

The Not-So Smart Meter

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

Oil shock.

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

'Please excuse the mess - we've been busy throwing good money after bad!'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

"They're spelt differently!"

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

"Hang the expense, Potter. If you need another pencil, order it."

"According to this analysis, Gibbons, last year your department spent forty-five thousand dollars on candy alone."

"We're cutting costs now, so get rid of the petting zoo."

'This one's called 'unpaid electric bills'.'

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."