Bill Busters Pillows

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'I've solved the problem of oil or gas heat...We can't afford either.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

The Not-So Smart Meter

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

'Ready for your bonus, Bob?'

"This is crazy! We've been here only 10 minutes, we've spent all our money, and we've got nothing to show for it!"

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

Oil shock.

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

I am billing, therefore I am.

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Please excuse the mess - we've been busy throwing good money after bad!'

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Put it in petty cash.

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

"They're spelt differently!"

'Why pay the airline $7.00 for a beer, when I can get a drone to deliver 6 for the same price?'

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

"We're cutting costs now, so get rid of the petting zoo."