Bully Busters Pillows

Cut down your own tree.

I'm not making enough money to like you.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'Judge Mental.'

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

"There's a rumour going around my head that you don't love me."

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

"I've decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, because it's just collecting dust."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

The housing market begins to deflate.

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

Dart player with long darts. 'Look, rules are meant to be broken, aren't they?'

'Come out of that cupboard. If you can't stand up to the class bully, who will? After all, you are the Headmaster...?'

Cut Your Bills In Half.

'I knew we should have put the CEO's increased bonus item further down the agenda.'

"I'd like algebra a lot more if it weren't for one thing."

Holy Water and Ice Blocks

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

"Stupid bullies. I would try to defend myself – but what if I lose? Who would cover my legal expenses?"

"You didn't read the fine print. This roach spray attracts them."

"Hahaha! What's wrong Dorky Nerdmire? That's your name isn't it?"

Warning.

"If your payment is in the post, please ignore this threat."

'So much for energy saving.'

'Who gave you that black eye?'

'Have you considered short-term treasury's?'