Bully Busters Mugs

Cut down your own tree.

I'm not making enough money to like you.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'Judge Mental.'

"There's a rumour going around my head that you don't love me."

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"I've decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, because it's just collecting dust."

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

Dart player with long darts. 'Look, rules are meant to be broken, aren't they?'

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

Waiter, there are tiny bubbles rising to the surface of my clam chowder. Conclusion" there's a flatulent fly in my soup. ? ?

The housing market begins to deflate.

'Come out of that cupboard. If you can't stand up to the class bully, who will? After all, you are the Headmaster...?'

On particularly buggy days, Carl wore his citronella candle cap.

Cut Your Bills In Half.

"I'd like algebra a lot more if it weren't for one thing."

'I knew we should have put the CEO's increased bonus item further down the agenda.'

"You didn't read the fine print. This roach spray attracts them."

"Stupid bullies. I would try to defend myself – but what if I lose? Who would cover my legal expenses?"

Holy Water and Ice Blocks

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

'Hello? Rentokil?'

"Hahaha! What's wrong Dorky Nerdmire? That's your name isn't it?"

Warning.

"If your payment is in the post, please ignore this threat."

'So much for energy saving.'

'I'm sorry about your account, sir - The 'Dollar Bubble' burst.'