Bank Buster Pillows

Bank - For The Convenience Of Customers This Branch Has Been Moved To Tierra Del Fuego Where It Will Open On Alternative Tuesday Afternoons

'We rolled your account over last week, Sir, and now we can't find it.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

The Not-So Smart Meter

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

'Ready for your bonus, Bob?'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

Oil shock.

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Please excuse the mess - we've been busy throwing good money after bad!'

"They're spelt differently!"

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

'Your father installed a security system.'

Bureau of Missing Persons

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"