Bonus Buster Pillows

"Larry, as board members, we've decided to go ahead and honor your outrageous compensation package, however, you're really, really going to have to work for it."

'To be honest, I did expect a better bonus this year.'

'Ready for your bonus, Bob?'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

The ground cracking beneath a banker's feet because his bonus is so big and heavy.

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

'Tell me more about the obscene bonus package.'

'$800,000 per year? Is that with or without an incentive bonus?'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"You've been vital to our great year. Your bonus is whatever you can carry out by midnight."

'He earns less than the Prime Minister...'

Company Performance - Bonus Scheme

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

"Will my bonus look big in this?"

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

'I'd like a job where I'm hated for having obscene amounts of money.'

CEO Incentives