Bill Splitter Gifts

'...Okay...so who had the thirteen bottles of Chardonnay?'

'. . . And Keith magically had to go to the bathroom right when the bill arrives. . . why do I always have to pay the lion's share?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

I am billing, therefore I am.

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

The entrées were $30 each. The extra $15 is for all that damn fresh pepper you made me grind!

Is there any history of not paying medical bills in your family? M.D.

"It's a great invention, but what if it leads to UTILITY BILLS?"

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

'Here, check it by processing my bill.'

"Warren serves as my aggregator."

'Poor me. . . pour me a drink!'

"Don't overdo it, dear."

"Because of the war can we split this?"

'We've had our new simplified gas bill!'

"I forgot to pay the light bill. I swear, I would forget my head if it wasn't screwed on."

'We're a two-income family. In come the bills and in come the taxes!'

'I've solved the problem of oil or gas heat...We can't afford either.'

"I just got a second notice on my credit card bill. But I never even got a first notice."

"Separate checks as always, Dr Jekyll."

'I'm looking for legal advice.' 'Don't get involved with lawyers. That will be £75.'

'No it's not ?150 PLUS VAT - the ?150 is JUST the VAT!'

"No need to rush down - it's only the gas bill."

A huge tongue pokes through a letterbox.

"Final demand! Does that mean they'll stop pestering us?"

"It's a quote from the builder, he says that the $2000 will just cover the cost of him coming over to laugh at us!"

'I have a terrible fear of paying bills.'