Bill Breakers Gifts

The entrées were $30 each. The extra $15 is for all that damn fresh pepper you made me grind!

'Let's not go by the book.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Worst breach of corporate dress code I've ever witnessed."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

'Read that last part back to me.'

'Rules are there to be broken, my friend.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

Pole Vault Rules

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

Sisyphus Sawyer

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...