Bill-conscious Gourmet Gifts

'Sir, one waiter is enough to bring the meals, but it takes two to carry the bill.'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Cat eating fish from fishbowl.

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

Chinese Novel Cookie

Chicago School of Home Economics

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

'No, that is not a balanced diet.'

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

The four major food groups.

"The portions here are so small, thank goodness there's a food bank around the corner."

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

Sam's Nation Building

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

Lunch Broker

Deep in the heart of the one-star restaurant district...'Guess what you're eating buffet!'

"It's a new way to stretch leftovers. Saw it in Homeopathy Now."

"Never mind the cost of living crisis, dear, you still need your 5-a-day."

'You think ideas are contained in food?'

"Everyone, stop looking delicious. The vegans are back and that tofurkey jerky won't keep them back much longer."

"Tonight, I feel like eating something controversial."