Budget Gourmet Gifts

"I've discovered a great way to diet...I just look at the price of food and I lose my appetite!"

'What wine goes well with a limited expense account?'

'The lower-priced items contain genetically-modified foods not yet approved for human use.'

'I did a study today, and cooking dinner just isn't cost-effective.'

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

'Don't tell me this isn't roadkill - it has an asphalt aftertaste.'

"Could I have your leftovers menu?"

Scrounge

"It's a new way to stretch leftovers. Saw it in Homeopathy Now."

"It's the only organic lacto-vegan menu I could find that fitted into the firms Christmas meal budget."

"It's exactly how Jamie Oliver would make it if he couldn't afford half the ingredients either!"

"For every meal, you should get something from each food group. That's an important message...even when you eat out! So, Gracie, what does your father tell you when you eat in a restaurant?"

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

'What's affordable tonight?'

'Letting you pick up the check will help you stay on your diet.'

Deep in the heart of the one-star restaurant district...'Guess what you're eating buffet!'

'Have you got any bin ends to go with road kill?'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

Cold Dogs: The low cost alternative.

'Sorry about dinner, honey...ever since your dad was laid off work we've been trying to figure out new ways to make dinner.'

LAY ZEE FUK

Build Your Own Portfolio

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

Boy baking a cake.

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

AS about Today's Specials' - 'Whatever didn't sell yesterday.'

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'