Bill Bolter Gifts

'Are you any good at running, waiter?'

The Not-So Smart Meter

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

"I say we move on to dessert."

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

The Royal Wii

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

'The butler did it.'

Culinary Culture.

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

Hit me with that crazy cha cha again, James!

Arctic Weather vs Utility Bills

Now that, my dear James, is what I call a Dog's Breakfast...

'New money or old money?'

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

Trustworthy Authority.

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'