Bill Bolter Pillows

'Are you any good at running, waiter?'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

The Not-So Smart Meter

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

"I say we move on to dessert."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

The Royal Wii

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'The butler did it.'

Culinary Culture.

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

Hit me with that crazy cha cha again, James!

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

Trustworthy Authority.

Arctic Weather vs Utility Bills

'New money or old money?'

Now that, my dear James, is what I call a Dog's Breakfast...

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

Royal Picnic