Bill Buster Gifts

Cut Your Bills In Half.

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

Excuse me, 62756076 is not my account number. You're right, that's your council tax.

"If your payment is in the post, please ignore this threat."

'That's the same reaction I get each month when he opens up our phone bill,'

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

Getting on your wick.

"This is for patients who get their bill."

The Not-So Smart Meter

Mobile Bills

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'According to my calculations we need to sell the house to pay the heating bills.'

'Does this mean that the coal merchant has given up asking for payment.'

Sorting out Bills.

“Ha! They think changing the color to red is going to get me to pay this bill?!”

'So much for energy saving.'

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

'I can't 'Pay as I go'. I can't even pay for where I've already been!'

'Remember, a rush to judgement is also bad for billing purposes.'

'You have an extremely serious condition. Your body has rejected our bill.'

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

"Fastball? Change up? OMG, I left my heater running?"

"I think it's our gas bill."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"Looks like the Q3 sales meeting is almost over..."

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'That's Fred, the new hire. He's one of those corporate renaissance types who erases organization-chart boundaries wherever he goes!'

"Where do you come up with your rationalizations for not writing?"

Arctic Weather vs Utility Bills

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"The thing of it is I don't even fish!"