Ostler Gifts

Unknown

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

'Now that we've dispensed with minutes of our last meeting, I'd like to introduce the first item under 'new business'. I'm pregnant.'

The bad egg.

'Two large ones when you're ready please barkeeper'

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

"There are 206 bones in your body...How would you like one more?"

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

Not you again, Achilles.

"I hate arguing with someone who knows what they're talking about."

"I told you we were going down too deep!"

Oculist.

'Touching.'

"See what I mean? They're sensible, but they don't look sensible."

'No, I'm NOT break dancing.'

Grimm's Fairytales - The Elves and the Shoemaker

The Labour Question.

"We have rising damp, you don't know a good cobbler do you?"

"The Department of Revenue and Tax? No, sorry, never heard of it before. You must have dialed the wrong number. This is the Department of Tax and Revenue."

Stilettos Sharpened

Magnifying glass on Oculist's sign.

"No no no...You can kick the ball into touch, not the opposition!"

Caterpiller in a shoe shop.

Shoe Repair. "Shoe repair" --- It must be for people who have lost one shoe and want to replace it!

Yeah, we totally need to post a relationship status update.

'By now, some of you have probably noticed the little fracking operation in the staff break room.'

"They loved the food and service. But they hated the font we used in the menu."

'Lately, I've been feeling old and worn down.' 'Time wounds all heels.'