Biker Wannabe Gifts

Old Biker: Now that I'm a real biker, all the old babes will want my body.

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Directions: Call a smart friend.

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

Car carrying bikes, biker carrying car.

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

'I think we lost track of time. Our wives put out a missing persons report out on us, and half the state is looking for us.'

Cheesie Rider

Jimmy had a very active imagination.

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

Inaction Figure

'I got fired, Amy... I hate it when that happens!'

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

"Thanks to the Internet, I learned to ride a bike. Since I was bored, I also got my pilot's license."

Tattoos sagging with time

Biker couple with their baby in a side car.

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

Milo dreamed that someday, somehow he was going to be a bad dog.

To save some cash my parents held my 8th B'day party at Lenny's Tap + Grill....

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

Altar Ego

Biker chopper shopper

Absurd motorbike

'Clarice, you know our rule. You cannot date anyone who has...'

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

Uneasy Rider

'There was an extra 50 miles on my bike this week. I couldn't keep you off the couch, now this?'

"Sure we'll get in trouble, but our science grades will make up for it."

'You've taken that handlebar mustache too far.'

"You had me at hell."