Big Bureaucracy Cynic Gifts

'I told him that I was leaving...that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork, the mind and morale sapping mountain of procedures and protocols!'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Government a la Carte

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

Why the Egyptians stopped building the pyramids.

'So, you're a little Hitler? You're hired.'

'The trouble with you doctors is that you don't really understand what the NHS is for.'

"Hello, department of pointless endeavors and redundant futility."

'What do you mean the FDA is going to start regulating the use of eyes of Newts?'

'My goal is to be a failure and accept a colossal golden parachute.'

It's Not How Long It Takes, It's How Big It Is

Federal Center for the Study of your Tax Return.

Captain of ship, surrounded by rough drafts and scrunched-up pieces of paper, says: 'Dammit bosun, we can't set sail without a coherent mission statement.'

Inland Revenue Awards - The next award is for the longest time it took to give someone the correct tax code.

NHS Very Direct: 'You have a terminal illness and are going to die. Thanks for your call.'

'They want the medals back. Apparently, you used a Vicks inhaler before going over the top in 1916.'

"To increase consumer optimism, we're going to put Prozac in the drinking water."

"I was thinking about leaving until I found out they were going to waterboard me during the exit interview."

"I'm afraid as a result of managements' reorientation of forward facing patientcentric resource functions...you're going to have to make your own way to the toilet."

"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up."

Man at a desk in Performance Review Dept. has a cannon in the 'OUT' box pointing out the window lights cannon.

The Side Effect of Self-Awareness

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

"We're now taxing your intellectual property."

Find the failed CEO who got a 200 million dollar bonus while being fired.

"Maximum security prison"