Bicycle Maintenance Gifts

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Drool Marks

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Deflator mouse

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Touring Cyclist

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

You had me at vintage.

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

Lazy plumber.

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."