Biblical Scholar With A Tech Twist Pillows

"You've only got twelve followers? You really need to look at your social networking optimisation!"

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"I'm going on a retreat."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"He didn't mean on Twitter."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

Why god isn't listening...

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

Palm Top Readings

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

Confession plugged up to an amp.

'Does it come with any Apps'

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

Binary meditation.

"I'm going on a retreat."

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

"What format shalt I save these in?"

"He calls it the eBible."

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my prayers now!"

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'