Bible Study Star Gifts

'Does he need to do the robot every time he gets a bible study question right?'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"I've got writer's block."

"You call this a constitution?"

"I've outgrown my backpack."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"What did Jesus order?"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

King Solomon's Pollster.

'Please take your receipt!'

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

Bigger Brain

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

'These don't apply ex post facto, do they?'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

'Nothing about equal opportunity?'