Bible Study Leader Gifts

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"I've got writer's block."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"You call this a constitution?"

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

The World's Biggest Book Club

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

Bible Bloopers

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

"What did Jesus order?"

Caption Contest TK

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"