Bible Study Groupie Gifts

"I lose a rib, a snake gives you an apple then a loud voice tells us to clear off...don't talk to me about natural justice!"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

TSA Noah

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

Bible Bloopers

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

Caption Contest TK

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"