Bias Banterer Gifts

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

The Expert

Macho talk from down in accounting.

Balding gnomes

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

'Interactive TV news.'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Hey Eric. Do you think they're silicone implants?"

"Care for an oxymoron?"

'Oh for God's sake just ignore it!'

'You've had enough!'

"Fake it till you make it, baby."

A breakthrough moment for the Wright brothers. How about some wings with that?

"We're looking for someone just like you but with testicles."

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"Sipsies?"

'Here comes Ted.'

"Let's go bowling and keep on bowling until the people who regulate bowling say it isn't bowling any more!"

Musical Accidents

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

"It isn't just the media that's biased... often the voters are too."

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

Special Euro 2020 Menu: Humble Pie

No, I'm not getting you a beer while I'm up.