Beverage Service Gifts

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Rump roast?"

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Beer Stall

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

You've Had Enough!

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

The Alpha Seltzer

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

Beer Order

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

National Coffee Day

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Gimme a lite. Bug Lite."

How About Serving Us For a Change

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Wine taster with mineral water

"I'll have the usual."

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.