Beverage Bon Vivant Gifts

'It's not the alcohol I crave, it's the social life.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

The Alpha Seltzer

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

You've Had Enough!

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'Well, if nothing else, Brad, your wine selection does prove you have a sense of humor.'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

National Coffee Day

Wine taster with mineral water

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

"Gimme a lite. Bug Lite."

How About Serving Us For a Change

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"I'll have the usual."