Barbecue Bon Vivant Gifts

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"How can you be out of wings?"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'Steak Ted?'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

His New Grillfriend

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

"He was sent here from the future to terminate me, but then he really got into grilling."

'Men's cooking'

When Grammarians Grill: 'Well done, well-done, or, well, done?'

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"What about the five that fell through?"

Barbecue

'I don't have the heart. You tell him the barbeque season is over.'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

The First Steak.

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

'What do you mean, you can't get it to light?'