Banking Bon Vivants Gifts

I think I could explain it better to the girl in your TV commercial.

British savings accounts

Tree in Dollar Shape.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

Poetry repairman

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

Piggy Bank ATM

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

'It's your debt to society.'

Fancy a twinkle before supper?

'He earns less than the Prime Minister...'

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

"Happiness is more important than money,but it is easier to count money."

'I'd like a job where I'm hated for having obscene amounts of money.'

Algernon Swinburne

'It's not the alcohol I crave, it's the social life.'

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"$100? What are you doing ... fracking your own gas?"

"If our proposal's a success, control yourself and don't start running around the room barking."

"And when you've saved up enough money, what are you going to say in in your full-page ad in the New York Times?"

Unleashing the dogs of regulation.

"The procedure was a complete success. We removed all of your money."

Red book

"We small independents have to stick together."

Thumbs Up Banker

"That's cute, but you'll never realize your phone's ringing in here if your ringtone's a belch."

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'

'Look out kids, here comes Basil Rathbone.'

'I was just passing by when I smelled money.'

'That was taken after I lost everything.'

Scrooge and his piggy bank

'What happens if I die young?'

"I'll take a cheque..."