Banking Bon Vivants Gifts

I think I could explain it better to the girl in your TV commercial.

British savings accounts

Tree in Dollar Shape.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

Poetry repairman

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

Piggy Bank ATM

'It's your debt to society.'

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

'He earns less than the Prime Minister...'

Fancy a twinkle before supper?

"Happiness is more important than money,but it is easier to count money."

'I'd like a job where I'm hated for having obscene amounts of money.'

"$100? What are you doing ... fracking your own gas?"

Algernon Swinburne

'It's not the alcohol I crave, it's the social life.'

"If our proposal's a success, control yourself and don't start running around the room barking."

"And when you've saved up enough money, what are you going to say in in your full-page ad in the New York Times?"

Eye Bank.

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

Unleashing the dogs of regulation.

"The procedure was a complete success. We removed all of your money."

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'

"We small independents have to stick together."

Red book

"That's cute, but you'll never realize your phone's ringing in here if your ringtone's a belch."

Thumbs Up Banker

'Look out kids, here comes Basil Rathbone.'

'I was just passing by when I smelled money.'

'That was taken after I lost everything.'

Scrooge and his piggy bank

'What happens if I die young?'