Beverage Bearer Gifts

'The trend toward less alcohol consumption at office parties is having a bad effect on my health. Wine cooler bottles are heavier than beer cans.'

A Good Batch.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

The Alpha Seltzer

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Redhead

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

National Coffee Day

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'Who's the new guy?'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Welcome Home from the Dog.

"Don't feel bad. The rest of us can't hold our liquor either."

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

"Brandy, coffee, decaf, herb tea, or cran-apple?"

"It's all good – but some of it is better."