Beverage Appreciator Pillows

"I'm cutting you off, pal. You've had enough Snapple."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Scotch and water musick."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'The King of what?'

'Well, if nothing else, Brad, your wine selection does prove you have a sense of humor.'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"Great coffee, Carole."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"And then, suddenly, it was 3 P.M., and she hadn't really got anything done."

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

"What'll ya have?"