Beverage Appreciator T-Shirts

"I'm cutting you off, pal. You've had enough Snapple."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Low-Energy Drinks

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Scotch and water musick."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'The King of what?'

"Great coffee, Carole."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'Well, if nothing else, Brad, your wine selection does prove you have a sense of humor.'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"What'll ya have?"

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"