Beverage Appreciation Gifts

"Got any bathtub gin?"

Coffee Venn Diagram

"The drought here in California is so bad, we've gone from watering down our wine, to wining down our water."

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

'What have you got in the way of a Cabernet Sauvignon for people who like Zinfandel when they can't find Merlot?'

'This wine has a 'cheeky' little aroma, Bruce... Unlike that city-slicker's larger!'

'Well, if nothing else, Brad, your wine selection does prove you have a sense of humor.'

'It's the worst part about going from being a wine collector to a wine retailer - I just can't bear to part with any of them!'

'I'll leave it entirely to you...as long as it's a red...for exactly $20...from Napa...made from Merlot...2006 vintage...'

'This coffee tastes like mud.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"If I'd wanted to taste strawberries and summer fruits I'd have asked for fruit squash."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"Scotch and water musick."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The King of what?'

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."