Betting Bard Pillows

"10/1 says I lose the next bet."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

Little league world series of poker.

A day at the races

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

The Proust of Twitter

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

Playing cards.

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

Shakespeare in the clink

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

Destination casinos...

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Nostradamus.

Post Game Day Betting.

A day at the races

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'