Betting Bard Gifts

"10/1 says I lose the next bet."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

Little league world series of poker.

A day at the races

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

The Proust of Twitter

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

Playing cards.

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

Shakespeare in the clink

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

Destination casinos...

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

Post Game Day Betting.

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Nostradamus.

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

election polling

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

'I'll give five bucks to anyone showing me a fish more than ten inches long.'