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'I have high hopes of Wisden knocking the Da Vinci code off the top of the best sellers list.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

Driverless cars rage.

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"What did you download at school today?"

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Treasure Island Book.

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,