Autobiography Aficionado T-Shirts

"Maybe nobody goes to your Web site because it's about you."

'We won't publish your book 'The Life of a mayfly: An Autobiography' because it's only a page long!'

"Fallen angel" - A memoir: signing today

"It's my autobiography - storyboarded!"

"After the last two years...I was getting nostalgic for drivel that made sense to me."

Sarah Palin.

'I've just read my autobiography, now there is nothing to read.'

'Oh please uncle Jim! Tell us another creepy story of the living!'

'I'm doing a book about my life, called 'I, Clown'.'

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

Woman at bookshop counter says: 'The Political Memoirs Wing is through there.'

'I'm thinking about writing a tell-all book about all of my sexual conquests.'

Tony Blair and Blairwash.

"I've decided to write my autobiography – would you mind if I mentioned you?"

"Surely they can't all be tell-alls..."

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"He likes spies and big shots."

Edgar Allen Poe

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

Treasure Island Book.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'