Best Friend With Pets Pillows

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This never happened."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Christmas Pets

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

PET THEORIES

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"Humans are strange."

Pet Entertainers

Chasebook

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

Labrador Non-retriever

Separation

Dog scared of a toad jumps onto a 'Beware the Dog' sign.

"What's all this?"

Dog Day Afternoon

"Cat park"