Benefit Warrior Gifts

'I'm going to use it to write letters to keep our health benefits, son...we veterans have a new battle when we get back.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Hot Pie Therapy

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

Shrinks in heaven

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'What are you eating now?'

Burnout Syndrome...

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Can I still do my pilates?"