Benefit Warrior Pillows

'I'm going to use it to write letters to keep our health benefits, son...we veterans have a new battle when we get back.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

Shrinks in heaven

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Burnout Syndrome...

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'What are you eating now?'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.