Welfare Warriors Pillows

"I don't mind if it's a boy or girl so long as I Get Child Benefit."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'Well, well, well...'

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

Foster failure

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'What are you eating now?'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Burnout Syndrome...

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'