Believer In Redemption Gifts

'It's important to believe in yourself - even when the jury doesn't.'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

"Holy water, holy water...."

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

'Fish and bread? That's it? Seriously?'

"Boy, the sooner she realises the only authority I obey is the Bible, the better!"

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

'It's a medical miracle. According to your notes you should have been dead years ago!'

"Oh dear, my dear. I'm afraid the tall dark stranger works at a nonprofit."

'I've got the inside track ... But the Devil uses the big freeway.'

"Your recovery has defied all known science...so let's just keep this between ourselves!"

"Behold! NOW is the accepted time to repent!"

Miracles on 34th Street.

Give Thanks.

'You had a good idea in our staff meeting yesterday. So, the church sent someone over to witness the miracle.'

'Hey, Naomi, remember last week when you said nothing short of a miracle could save MicroTechnoCom from bankruptcy?'

'I might be able to get you off if a chain of near miraculous rulings happen to occur.'

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

'It all started in my previous life, doctor.'

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

Ray Charles

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

Moses Uses God-Given Powers To Protect His Sandcastle

'No, we wouldn't want to ask God's blessing on something evil, but carrots aren't evil.'

Canadian Jesus

God's Miracles.

"Relax - we're blessings in disguise."